i care.

i tried to pretend that i cared.

and maybe. maybe for a second there. i did. i really did care.

but then it was gone. flitting away on the ray of sunshine. that one that came in through the window you left opened. carried on a breeze.

i watched it fly away. my care. and then it was gone.

and so i sat. and i thought. and i was scared. because yet again. i didnt care.

and you left. you walked out of the room. and i didnt even see you go.

stark mad.

to truly become the masters of our own destiny we realized that we needed to do something different. we had been looking at things all wrong. and for so long. actually the more we thought about it the more we realized that everyone had been looking at it wrong.

it is like looking through a window. and everyone is staring out into the world. and seeing the world. we started looking from the world back through the window. looking at it from the other side. and that is when things started to change. that is when the colors popped. not just popped but exploded.

we jumped into the air. and we got pretty high. and then we landed. we jumped again. this time we didnt come down. we broke free of the forces that had kept us on the ground for so long. higher and higher.

when we returned to earth. we tried to tell people what happened. but no one listened. they thought we were stark raving mad. and maybe we were.

i had always thought that might have been a possibility. never seriously considered it. but all these people seemed to think so. so it must be true.

i just wanted you to listen to me. the only person i really cared about telling. about enlightening. about looking through the window from the other side. but when i told you. you looked at me in disgust. and that is when i knew that i would rather be stark raving mad.

word on.

the words lazily flitted into play.

and back out.

and before we knew it. the words were gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ahh and then they came back. it just didnt feel right when they were gone. so little control. it really was their will. not ours.

it is inconvenient when you are trying to tell a story and the words keep dipping out. it is frustrating when the more you try and control them. the more they rebel against it. words like humans dont like being told what to do.

words rule worlds.

and we thought we were the ones in control. but alas. we were wrong and i am perfectly alright with that.

word on.

flying.

and when i jumped. i knew that i would fly. i just leapt. he said.

there was quite a group of us gathered around him now. listening in awe as he spoke. we didnt know if what he was saying was true. but it captivated us.

we sat still and quiet. awaiting the next words.

i rose higher. and higher. invisible wings carried me to the moon. he said. and past it. past the moon. to the stars.

i looked up at the stars as he kept talking. imagining myself flying to the stars. slowly investigating the pricks of light that i had born witness to for my entire life.

i saw people he said. on other worlds. in other galaxies. and they were like you and me. and they were happy. and they were sad. they loved and they fought. they were like you and me.

i imagined the people. i imagined them sitting around their friend. listening to him tell stories of other worlds. just like us.

what if he wasnt just making up a story. what if he really flew to other worlds. what if we werent the only things out there. what if there really were other people in the universe.

i sat and smiled. it all finally made sense to me.

and he kept talking. and we kept listening.

and i kept smiling.

freedom.

was freedom feeling the wind your hair. as you rode your bike without a shirt down the street.

was freedom picking up the book and reading it till it was complete.

was freedom getting in the car and driving till you fell asleep. then waking up and driving more.

was freedom saying the things you wanted to say. even if it offended every person around you.

was freedom jumping. or sitting. or flying.

was freedom writing these words on this page at this moment in time.

was freedom a word overused. a word used to bully and bludgeon. a word that was twisted until not even the free knew what it meant.

was freedom when we fought a war that didnt end.

was freedom knowing when to stop. and being able to do it. and what happens when you cant stop.

maybe thats when freedom ends.

pigs.

whether 1 plus 1 equals two isnt the question. it never was the question.

whether pigs oink. or birds fly.

you see it when you walk outside. you see it when you walk inside. you see it when you walk.

and still you ask the question that was never the question.

and still we walk. we walk outside. we walk inside. and we keep asking. but no one is answering.

a persistent bunch. we roll in it. like pigs in the mud. some would consider it dirty. but it is a way of life. rolling in the mud isnt dirty to a pig.

look up. look down. describe what you see. write it down on a piece of paper.

look left. look right. look out the window and what sits outside. walk outside. breath the air. think about how it smells. think about how it looks. do you see mountains or buildings.

do you ask questions that matter. does anyone.

think about the pigs.

think about the birds.

think about the birds. and the birds.

see this is where it stops making what little sense it made.

the skies are green. the fish dont swim. they dont float. the fish dont. and yet the questions are sprawling. like a dog stretching on the floor. and the floor isnt there. and neither is the dog. our imaginations stretched.

the reds and the blues. things that shouldnt be moving. oh theyre moving. focus. stop. they keep moving. the walls fly like birds. the floors roll like pigs. dirt where there should be none. but is it dirty.

you cant insult a pig by calling it dirty. but you can insult a man by calling him dirty.

up is down. right isnt as right as we once thought. down is down.

me. i. we. she. him. us. they. all the same. interchangeable.

they walked with they. i didnt know then.

him know now.

and its all a sham. carefully constructed. carefully orchestrated. and each piece falls into place. and she knew then what i always knew. us. they were always.

words like kids.

past the past.

furtive futures.

presence presently.

squiggle. to the left.

to the right.

hold the breath.

day by night.

swim swam.

the period collides.

comma non existent anymore. removed from the keyboard.

time too short.

time too long.

the sense cant be made.

little to understand.

even less to grasp.

and so be it.

and so be we.

played words. words played.

watching them run like children.

so hard to control.

they do their own things.

words belong to the words.

i am merely the one to build a fence to keep them all in.

but they play. and arrange.

it is better that way.

let the words speak for themselves so they cant be misunderstood.

misinterpreted. its your mistake not mine.